IWSG: In Which I Practice Avoidance of My Manuscript

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So I'm stalling.

Totally stalling.

Mmm, yep.

See I'm supposed to begin editing my reunion love story. It's gonna be great. This is the furthest I've ever gotten. I've written the whole thing. I've got tons of notes for editing it. I went to two different writing workshops with the amazing and funny Donald Maass and I'm ready to make this story into a something publishable. I'm focused! I'm ready! I'm on the ball-- hey did you know there are ten seasons of friends on Netflix and I've never seen the show? I should probably watch that. Also the living room needs vacuuming. And I need to wash my hair.

This is how it's been for a month.

I got it in my head that I needed to make a better town map and apparently that takes precedent over say, tackling the large issues I have with my hero. It's super important to know exactly how my characters get from the town grocery store to the restaurant says I. So I've been building a handmade, painstakingly detailed street map of my fictional small town. It's more detail than I need or will really use.  But I keep working on it every night. I suppose I'm avoiding the much needed outline I should be working on.

I really hate outlining. As you may or may not remember, I have a rare but serious disease called Outline Induced Narcolepsy. Very serious stuff. I pass right out as soon as I start working on one. I could fall and bump my head if I'm not careful.


I need a system for editing. I need a deadline and I need to quit worrying about this frackedy-fracking map that is eating my soul right now. Though, I'm pretty sure I can finish the map tonight. if I put my mind to it.

And if dinner doesn't take too long to eat.

And if my cat isn't too demanding. 

And if the next Friends episode is dull- and by that I mean a Phoebe-centric episode because I hate those.

Oh look, there's something shiny over there!

I Has The Sads

I've been kind of down since Thanksgiving. We temporarily gave up Christmas trees and presents and sparkly decorations three years ago because I go nuts and spend too much during the holidays and start the new year in debt. As we're trying to save for a house, this behavior will not stand. So Christmas has been cancelled for the most part. Add into that, my mom, who is the solitary member of my family I still communicate with in any meaningful way, moved out of state. Which makes me feel extremely lonely for family during the holidays, no offense to my lovely friends or my hubs. Its not the same. Then mix into that, I just turned thirty-five.

Thirty-five.

35.

Treinta y cinco.

God-awful pretty

So the combo of all these things appears to have spiraled me into a level of depression I haven't had in years. I woke up on my birthday with it. A not-answering-the-phone, not-taking-showers kind of depression. A lay-on-the-couch- and-watch-Borgia kind. And frankly, any depression that makes you watch Borgia is the worst kind. That show is god-awful.


Also I'm sort of depressed about this blog. I hired someone to make it pretty. Paid a wad of cash. It was a cluster-fuck. She'd tell me she'd get back with me in a day and I wouldn't hear from her for a week. She routinely forgot the things I requested. After three months she gave me my $$ back, but I was left with a mess of code that I can't figure out and honestly, the blog looks kind of bad. Sloppy. So I'm pretty bummed about that too.

But mostly, I think thirty-five is what has me in a funk.

I loved turning thirty. My thirties have been amazing. I mean just this year alone I finished two novels. My life is on-track and my birthdays have not been bothering me. Yet now, I'm sitting back and cataloging my failures both real and imagined. We are making strides toward a house but the market isn't great and we still don't have enough saved for a down payment. I have my diabetes under control right now but my mortality is ever-present in my mind. Every year older reminds me that I probably won't live to be very old. I'm not making any strides with my weight. We seem to have given up on keeping our house clean as my depressions tend to be contagious to my hubs. I've started getting frequent and alarming nose bleeds. My hair is frizzy. My skin is ruddy. Oh and our PS3 died.

Depression is nonsensical sometimes. Yes my mortality and my PS3 are equal things to be sad about in my crazy head.

In an attempt to be positive, here is a list of good things in my life:  My BFF moved back from Mexico to Michigan. Hubs bought me the Supernatural edition of Clue with a gorgeous pic of Sam and Dean on the box. Our furnace quit running right before Christmas and one of Santa's elves fixed it for free. I got some new outfits from Torrid. My mama sent me birthday cash. My nails are currently sparkling like the midnight sky. I started using over-priced Shea Butter lotion that smells like citrus and my nubby, rough elbows and forearms are smoother than they've been since childhood. I guess that's what fifteen dollar lotion does. Our finances are looking pretty good and after three spare Christmas seasons, we have built up a nice bit of savings. My third and fourth books are being sorted out in my head and I'm also thinking a lot about my very first completed novel, my Detroit love story. I think it needs a total overhaul but I liked the characters and I think its salvageable. We have running vehicles, heat, electricity, food, money for medications, an insane amount of eyeshadow and nail polish... in short, life is good.

But I'm sad anyway.

Art by Moon Princess at  elysian-dreams.tumblr.com/

NaNoWriMo ACCOMPLISHED

I hit 50K on November 14th.

I hit 50K on November 14th.

I hit 50K on November 14th!

Holy crap, I really did it. I started like three days late and I still finished 17 days early. I feel invincible. Also my story is hilarious. Different from my last book. These characters don't cuss as much and don't have so many heavy issues but man are they funny. Also they are dirty birds. And that's fun.

I'm spending the rest of the month finishing the manuscript. Then I'm taking a break in December. Or I might start the third one. Who knows? I'm a maniac this year.

2014, you is my bitch.

IWSG: Better Late Than Never

A quick and late IWSG.

I'm struggling with this story. I've taken to writing scenes rather than a complete story because these characters are further from who I am and that's a challenge. A single mom (when I don't have or want kids, what possessed me?) and a middle-aged businessman (of which I am neither).

I'm starting to get that fear. You know the one. Where you think, maybe that was it. Maybe I only had the one book in me and there won't be another good one. I'll be the Vanilla Ice/Blind Melon/Dee-Lite of the romance world and people will say, "What happened after that first crazy book?" and shake their heads.

As you do.

Also I wrote a scene. A great scene. I love it. But the more I'm staring at it, the more I'm wondering if I didn't steal part of it from some other book I read. But I can't put my finger on it. But it feels familiar... dammit writing is hard.

So yeah. That's it. But, I'm still kicking ass at NaNoWriMo, cuz when in doubt... I just write a sex scene. I've already written two. WORD COUNT ACCOMPLISHED, BITCHES.

This is why no one should ever take writing advice from me.



How YOU doin'?

Editing done and NaNo Begun...

Who has two thumbs and wants to do NaNoWriMo on a book she has neither outlined nor created character profiles for?

This girl!

It also looks like I might be rapping like Eminem. There's a "Yo baby, wuz up?" quality to my artwork, don't you think?


So I edited fifteen chapters of my last book in about one week. The first eleven chapters are hash but I'll deal with those in February. I finished rewriting the end chapter last night. Its much better and sexier.

Its time to put these characters I adore to rest. They will still exist in my next book or two, but I won't be inside of their heads anymore and that fills me with a certain kind of sadness. Also this new book is lighter. Still heavy themes (family dysfunction, perfectionism, single mom-hood, etc) but not as heavy as the last one. And the characters don't have a built in relationship like my childhood friends turned lover did. I actually have to build it from the ground up. Scurrrrry.

Anyhow that's all. Just a quick update before I start flipping out over NaNo.

See you on the other side kids.

She's done.

So yeah, I finished my novel.

Weird.

Christina Vs. The Barista II

Me: I'd like a Dark Hot Chocolate with two shots of caramel.**
Barista: Uuhhhhh, did you want a Cocoa Carmella?
Me: Is it the same as a dark hot chocolate with two shots of caramel?
Barista: I don't know.
Me: Ok, then I'll have a Dark Hot Chocolate with two shots of caramel.
Barista: *Consults with other barista*
Barista 2: Uhm, did you want a Cocoa Carmella?

Me: Is that the same as a Dark Hot Chocolate with two shots of caramel?
Barista 2: Uhm, its like a shot of chocolate and a shot of caramel.
Me: Is that the same amount of shots I'd get with a Dark Hot Chocolate with two caramel shots?
Barista 2: No.
Me: *Through clenched teeth* I'd like a Dark Hot Chocolate with a double shot of caramel. I'm fine with whatever you have to call it to get those things into a cup and then serve it to me. 
Barista 2: *Gives me a look like I'm a crazy person while she makes my drink, mumbling.*
Me: *Weeps*

The most frustrating thing is that every single time I go, we have this conversation and every time, I ask them to clarify how much chocolate and caramel you get in the two different drinks, since the menu doesn't tell me. They refuse to answer me. So instead we have to fight every single time.